The Highly Sensitive Person

It's too bad that I didn't read this book until now. By now, I've already worked through all of my issues in psychotherapy or by talking my husband's ear off. I have long since stopped watching scary movies, or going on rides at the fair, or rappelling off of cliffs. (Except for the time a couple of years ago when I convinced myself that I needed to launched my body down a vertical water slide. It didn't take a second run to remind me why I don't do those things.) I have also learned through much trial and error to simply accept the fact that I am more neurotic than the average bear. I like things to be a certain way, I need lots of alone time, and - lucky for me - I have a family who puts up with all of it.

What I didn't know until reading this book was that there is a REASON that I am like this. The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive when the World Overwhelmes You decodes the personality trait discovered by the author and HSP, Elaine Aron. I think she did a good job of making this book readable for the masses, even if it does have a good amount of psychological jargon. I think she also does a good job of being balance, pointing out both the potential strengths and weaknesses of HSPs. She also does a good job of distinguishing between traits of HSPs and traits of those who are mentally ill. HSPs aren't mentally ill, though they do suffer from more anxiety and depression if they remain chronically overstimulated.

Here are some sentences that would be true for most HSPs:

• I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or loud noises
• I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things
• I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time
• I startle easily
• I am deeply moved by the arts or music
• I am conscientious.
• Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood
• Changes in my life shake me up.
• I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.
• I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, and works of art.
• When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
• I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.

If more than half of the above statements are true for you or someone you love, I would encourage you to read this book. While it is full of information, it also has practical exercises at the end of each chapter that can help someone working through the issues raised by the subject. (Apparently, many of the hundreds of people that Aron interviewed for her research had experienced trauma relating to being misunderstood as shy, difficult, or neurotic.) Elaine Aron has also written a follow up to this book called The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook, which might also be helpful.

Since my husband is also and HSP, though not as intensely as I am, I also got her book The Highly Sensitive Person in Love from the library. The first word on two HSPs and children: Don't plan to have many, and if you do, make sure one of you is a full-time caretaker. It would have been nice to have this book eight months ago, instead of having to go through hell and learn the hard way that, as an HSP, I'm not cut out to live a stress-filled life of mother/manager. And it would have been nice to know that, because we're both HSPs, we don't deal well with major life changes like having a baby. Instead, we learned the hard way, like we always do, and I suppose that's best. I enjoyed reading this book as an affirmation that our life is just the way it's supposed to be.